Time Flies

I felt the need to write an update today- maybe it was the writing workshop I suffered through for the past 2 days, maybe it's because my next treatment is in 2 weeks... 2 WEEKS!

It's amazing how quickly time flies. It's been 6 months since I started my new treatment plan and now I'm ready to get the first full dose.

So how is it going?

Honestly, pretty well. About a month after my last treatment I started feeling really good. I had more energy, less numbness, NO dizziness (which was HUGE) ... and it's not just how I'm feeling... MY MRI's HAD NO NEW LESIONS!

A few weeks ago I felt some of my normal numbness sneak back in... in a strange way it is kind of a comforting numbness because it has been my normal for almost the past 9 years.

I remember the day exactly. It was St. Patricks day 2010 and I was out with my group of friends at the time. We had been drinking enjoying ourselves and I started to notice when I would look down at the ground my legs would go numb.

Strange? yes.

Concerning? not yet.

It could be anything... and honestly I didn't give it a second thought.

About a month later when my Primary Doctor was finishing up my exam, "was there anything else you wanted to talk about?" -- at first I answered "Nope! I think I'm all good... well... actually I've been having this weird sensation... I'm sure it's nothing...."

That's the strange thing about this disease. You spend your days trying to decide if what you are feeling is MS... or is it just life.

Am I fatigue right now because I'm tired, or is it because I have an autoimmune disease. Am I dizzy because I need water, or is it because I have an autoimmune disease.

These thoughts have the tendency to put you straight into a fit of anxiety.

As I get closer to my infusion more of my regular symptoms start to show up, not full blown, but just a quick little reminder that you still have this little disease.

This is normal. As your body starts to get stronger again symptoms come back.

The medicine itself is only in my system for a short time after the infusion, then it takes about 5-6 months for your immune system to build back up.... thats why the medicine is timed the way that it is.

I will get another knock to my system... another build back up... etc. The idea is to keep knocking my system down until it figures out how to do it's job properly... just a little micro management.

My mind is for sure in a different place than it was in August. I am actually looking forward to treatment day. I hope that it will give me a little boost to get back into some of the routines that I have dropped the past month as I let my body take the wheel for a bit.

As always thanks for the support, it means the world to me <3

** Photo from a trip to Atlanta this past month, I was super anxious about traveling it was my first trip in a while- I knew we would be walking a lot, standing in lines.. but to my surprise I was fine. Had to take more rests than normal, and took a few days to get back to my normal self when I returned- but I'm glad I didn't let my anxieties hold me back from enjoying life**